By Amy Frost
Are you in an abusive environment? Do any of these describe you?
You feel off balance and unable to be back in balance.
You feel disconnected, confused, disoriented.
You are upset by the mere presence of a person.
You feel a strong desire to leave.
You feel empty and unfulfilled.
You don’t feel safe.
You don’t feel appreciated.
Tens of thousands will attest to the fact that abuse happens all the time and at many levels in almost all businesses. In recent years, sexual harassment has rightfully received significant attention. There are subtle and not so subtle forms of mistreatment at work that do not get the press that they deserve.
The experiences I have cited are only the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes it’s the whole corporate culture that hurts people. It’s not just bosses mistreating subordinates. Corporate bullies are found at all levels of the organization. Unfortunately, most managers don’t get called to task for their misbehavior. When bad manners become normal behavior, abuse sets in and destroys people and companies.
Abuse in the workplace is real and it affects us every day. The example we began had a tragic ending. Kathy left the job she loved because the harassment her boss, Ted, was giving her became unbearable. Joe came in to take Kathy’s place. Joe was working hard for Ted even though he was in the midst of a messy divorce. Finally one more put-down tipped the scale. Joe came to work with a gun to kill Ted. Ted had left for the day. Joe searched for Ted’s boss, another abuser. He was gone too. He went to his estranged wife’s house. She was gone. Joe then tracked down his wife’s lawyer― he killed him and then himself. Ted’s answer to this tragedy? “He was nuts. Get metal detectors.” Are there enough metal detectors to solve this problem?
Identifying the Problem
If a person feels that he/she is being abused then it is likely that abuse is truly occurring. Granted, some people are thin-skinned and feel ‘abused’ by the heavy demands or high standards of a job. Be aware of the difference between a tough boss and one who rules by intimidation.
Abusive bosses often have an attitude of contempt towards those under them. They seek to motivate by intimidation and in doing so create an atmosphere of fear. Such a workplace environment does not evoke the best from the worker. Companies contaminated with abuse often lose their brightest and best employees. They jump ship to a company that treats them respectfully and fosters a climate of cooperation and creativity.
In the end, low employee morale and loyalty can sabotage any chance a company has of remaining competitive. Even a good salary in an abusive company is not enough to keep employees. Although money is a necessary concern to workers, most employees are motivated by intrinsic factors like finding value in their work as an expression and expansion of the self, needing to be recognized for excellence, the drive to be creative, and the desire to make a difference.
(Editor’s note: Amy Frost serves on the MilTRAC advisory board, helping us to frame articles like this to help others in transition understand how to identify topics that will impact their post-military careers.)
